That heart wrenching feeling when you aren’t good enough for anything. Always coming up short, making mistakes, not being careful enough, and never completing any task started. Sad truth is I have done nothing to make my family proud. Yes I graduated high school, but I never finished college. Yes I have been put in a leadership position, but I let it all go. I have lost 30 pounds and stop smoking, but I gained it all back. I always tend to build myself up just to brake myself down. I am my own worse enemy, and no one can help me but myself. I won’t ever be comfortable because I see so much failure and disappointment. The only one I can blame is myself.
So crazy how so much can change in two years. How the drinking, partying, and sex can be your whole priority. But shortly after you want nothing to do with it. Do people really change? Or does the urge still linger in the back of your mind craving to break free? Can you really be someone that you would of thought you never could be? The past is the past, and you are told to never judge a book by it’s cover, but aren’t you supposed to read the first few chapters to predict what the ending might be like?
My demons will always haunt me. I will never feel good enough for anyone. I lack that inner strength the some people find through the years.
meeting you was fate, being your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was uncontrollable
Ugh.. this needs to go away. I’ve never had baby fever untill now. Never thought I would ever have this feeling.
All I really know is you have eyes I could stare at for eternity. You have the most beautiful soul. There is something about your voice that could make my worst day the most joyful, just by saying one word. I cherish every second with you. You have quite a few scars as well as I. But never forget I will always be there to heal them stitch by stitch. It’s easy to make you laugh, but even harder to make you cry. (I hate how I have managed to do that) You have the sweet tooth of a six year old, and a memory or a goldfish. I know that I’m in deeply in love with you, and these are the things I’m absolutely sure of.