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I feel like I’m missing something. Seems like I can never fill this void, yet I have no idea what it is. Something just doesnt feel right.

You would think getting a puppy would cure this baby fever. Nope of course not.And I always catch myself wondering what would have happened if I didn’t have that miscarriage…

If I had ever done one thing differently, I may not have met you.

Starting to feel like I am unwanted. And I am old news. I’m just there for comfort when you feel like it.

That heart wrenching feeling when you aren’t good enough for anything. Always coming up short, making mistakes, not being careful enough, and never completing any task started. Sad truth is I have done nothing to make my family proud. Yes I graduated high school, but I never finished college. Yes I have been put in a leadership position, but I let it all go. I have lost 30 pounds and stop smoking, but I gained it all back. I always tend to build myself up just to brake myself down. I am my own worse enemy, and no one can help me but myself. I won’t ever be comfortable because I see so much failure and disappointment. The only one I can blame is myself.

So crazy how so much can change in two years. How the drinking, partying, and sex can be your whole priority. But shortly after you want nothing to do with it. Do people really change? Or does the urge still linger in the back of your mind craving to break free? Can you really be someone that you would of thought you never could be? The past is the past, and you are told to never judge a book by it’s cover, but aren’t you supposed to read the first few chapters to predict what the ending might be like?

My demons will always haunt me. I will never feel good enough for anyone. I lack that inner strength the some people find through the years.

meeting you was fate, being your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was uncontrollable

Ugh.. this needs to go away. I’ve never had baby fever untill now. Never thought I would ever have this feeling.

The things I would do for a night in a cabin relaxing in a hot tub with a glass of wine.

This would be the perfect time of year to run away to the mountains with my camera.